Letter to Samir Nasri

Dear Samir Nasri, (Just formally, no intended respect)

[I'm an Indian and we Indians usually learn English as a secondary language, we are taught to write letters formally, so I don't really mean it if I actually use sweet language]


Hope this letter reaches you in best of health and hope that you are facing no injury scare to face us. Which I really wish is inflicted by either Arteta or Ramsey. Hope that cozy bench is treating you well. I wish a reply on this: Is it really very costly? Does it have some advanced technologies like anti-perspiring or sweat absorbing? Which anyway will make no sense as you would hardly sweat, may be the only time you sweat is when warming up. As an ex-fan, I have empathy towards what we Indians call “tashrif“. With all those bench-warming you should be careful about blisters down there.

Nasri, just remember exactly a year ago, you were the fan favorite. You were scoring goals, creating them and moreover starting almost every single game.  You were being considered to be given a status which you will never acquire in any of your future clubs. I'm sure you are not sensitive enough to guess what it is, fans would have given you the status of “Next Robert Pires“.

Well you may be wondering why we hate you as much as we hate Ashley Cole or Adebayor, you must be thinking you had great potential and we hate losing out on that, seriously NO, even Bendtner will not think in those lines. Look we never believe in like to like replacements as you know, which didn't work well for us until you. We have found people playing better football providing better assists and getting us results. Seriously, Gervinho has been a better player in that position since Pires left. And Arteta is the best number-8 we had since Ljumberg.

[We Indians beat around the bush a lot: watch Bollywood movies]

Coming back to why we hate you, the reason is not coz you left us for money, its not because you are good. (Seriously, ask your manager)
The reason is coz you have done something unpardonable, its something which makes me feel like giving a capital punishment, ask your ManCity owners, the thing they do: like burying the body in sand and hitting face with pebbles. You, Mr. Nasri,  tried to flirt around with Man Utd, for that French friend of yours who has no idea what real men, never mind kids, are made of.

Here is wishing you good luck with the Europa league. “Losing out fighting for a cup is much better than watching a bunch of guys getting it“


Sincerely,
Gooner