Thursday, March 22, 2012

The Arsenal Renaissance

When was the last time Arsenal won six premier league games in a row?
I seriously, don’t remember the last time that happening. But for a club of Arsenal’s caliber it could not have been long since that happened.

But, was it as exciting as this?
I don’t think there was ever EVER a better run of performance, and the games here are not bottom table or promoted sides, this astonishing run of form by the gunners started with a comeback victory over sp*rs, followed by AC Milan, Liverpool, Newcastle and Everton.
The biggest credit of this goes undoubtedly to the manager, and it’s safe to say that, Arsene Wenger’s long term project on this team is starting to show its results. This is the first season since THE INVINCIBLEs left (majority of ‘em) that we are not desperate of signing to complete our team. Or to put it in other words, this is the first time, fans will not be getting behind Wenger for signing.
In Arsene we trust. [Pic:]  
We were short in at least one department every season presiding this, DEFENCE, GOAL KEEPER, STRIKER, all in the reverse order for last three seasons. And somehow miraculously its all solved, with out Wenger needing to buy a David Luiz, Fernando Torrez, Andy Carrol, Stewart Downing, etc,. Did he “SPEND SOME FUCKIN’ MONEY?” I don’t think so- Arteta, Santos and Mertesacker were got for peanuts considering their performances compared to all the stupid signings being made by Citeh, Coach Fire Club, and LOLpool.

Buy Podolski or not, mid-field anchormen more or no. I’m not writing my opinions on it, as I have full faith- WENGER KNOWS BEST. But, I hope he holds on to our Captain Vantastic. Wenger is the only person who can lead us to success in all aspects.

Now, the second part of the post.

Read an excellent post on how our performances has changed since we have fit full-backs.

Also, the Arsenal’s renaissance should be credited to one of the oldest race-horse with us. Glad to find hundreds who considered him dead-wood are his admirers now. And, I am glad that my favorite player in an Arsenal jersey is proving what he’s worth.

Rosicky back at his most favorable position is one of the reasons for this amazing run of form. He’s very hardworking, good at possession, crazy without it (that’s what brings those amazing sliding tackles out of him, very creative, always looks to attack.

And here are some stats to prove his worth.    

Also, include yesterday's victory in the stat to further improve my point. 

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Premier Leauge Satire: What could be?

Disclaimer: All the characters in the following post are real, any resemblance with People or Clubs, Harry or Sp*urs, living or might die, is purely intentional. The characters here are assumed immortal for simplicity.

English Premier League is without a doubt the best thing that has happened to sporting world, after Zidane. What makes it even more special is the quality of fan following it gets across the globe. With the humor associated with it unparallel and above all sporting events.
Trending a premier league joke worldwide takes less time than Tim Krul realizes that he has to take a goal kick. 

Utmost care has been taken to keep the work original, but, you will find many jokes inspired from various top trends on twitter.

Exact timeline of the following events is not established, lets just say its some time 15-20 years from now.

North London:
Arsene Wenger reassured his faith in his clubs long standing youth policy and looks to further improvise his belief by signing players only below age of 8.
While, the gunners legend Theirry Henry has scored his 400th Premier League goal for Arsenal in his 14th debut at the club. The goal was created by Cesc Fabregas, who returned to his teenage club from his boyhood/divehood club as a free transfer. Making him the 49th player to make a second coming at the Emirates Stadium.

The recent transfer window saw Arsenal sending a record 51 players on loan and selling 25 kids, boosting the clubs pre-tax budget to 173,479,886 million pounds.

Meanwhile at Manchester:

Sir Alex Ferguson completed his 9,999th game as the in-charge of the club, WRIGLEYS sponsored the event as incidentally he spat his 610,000,000th chewing gum. 

Howard Webb won his 600th MoTM award for the club, awarding it 1000th penalty, which completed Nani's 1200 dives. 

Ryan Giggs has finally retired from football in search of the only family member he hasn't slept with. Which could take his incest record to marginally less than his appearances for the club. If you are the one call him on 004-123-61-61 or mail at

While the other Manchester Club, has completed a record signing of 250 million pounds to yet another over-rated arrogant prick.  Extending the oil-rich clubs spending to 75000 billion pounds without a trophy.

Back at London
Chelsea have finally silenced their critics on "shite club, no history", with the following history, yet remaining a shit club. 

  • A unique record of firing 4 managers in a season, bringing the managers fired tally to 35 since the last trophy.
  •  While the clubs longest standing senior manager has urged more signings. He's apparently stuck on 97 and the club needs 3 new players for him to make a century of team-mates wives. 

Elsewhere, in north London, Spurs fans in an attempt to prove north London is not RED, are taking a crap on the streets of London to prove NORTH LONDON IS THEIRS. With banners of COYS-Crap on you Spurs.
At Mersyside
Scientist are working on a mortality drug to keep aged people alive so that a few of the Liverpool fans could claim, "I was there when Liverpool last qualified for Champions League".
Liverpool legend Kenny Dalglish is asked FA to ban Arsene Wenger for calling Suarez a diver, United for winning cups and Messi for scoring Goals. But he says Suarez racially abusing Evra is justified.

Entrepreneurs in Football:
Last ten years has seen a good number of football entrepreneurs, most famous include:

  • Gareth Bale academy of diving. With reputed trainers like Christiano Ronaldo, Sergio Busquets, Didier Drogba, etc.

  • Wayne Rooney Hair gain formula and "massage" center.

  • Nasri, Adebayor and A. Cole become rich in 30 days. 

  • Bendtner's best selling novel, "how not to pay for your pizza".
Follow: @asimgunner

Monday, March 12, 2012

Letter to the Captain

Dear Captain.

I could have addressed this letter as Dear RVP or Dear Robin or your full name, but, I chose just CAPTAIN. There is a reason behind it.

Captain, I've been an Arsenal fan since our defeat to Barcelona in UEFA Champions League Final of 2006. So, my first arsenal game and I missed out on the biggest trophy our team could get. 

But nevertheless, the spirit a ten men side showed made me a crazy arsenal fan. 
Now to the reason I refer to you as captain was because in the 6 years I've supported Arsenal- I've seen 5 different captains at the club. And before taking up football I followed cricket- closely followed 7 Indian Cricket Captains.

But, none really deserved to be addressed as CAPTAIN, just Captain as you do.
  • Encouraging Theo to get the best out of him throughout the season and particularly the Spurs game. 
  • Handing over MoTM to Sczcency. 
  • Kissing Songs boot for the winning assist. 
  • Numerous small gestures which evidently has made arsenal the most spirited side football has witnessed in past few years. 
  • All these apart from single handedly winning almost every other game for us.
Captain Vantastic
Yes, there were amazing captains who were great leaders, but the pressure of being a captain ruined their natural game; while, there have been great sportsmen who were average to poor captains.

The best thing about this Arsenal captain, you my captain, is that you have been an inspiring captain, true leader, amazing motivator and much brilliant performer. The burden of Captaincy has not affected your game slightest. In fact, it has helped others to attain their potential- every manager’s dream.

Like millions of Arsenal supporters worldwide I wish you sign that piece of paper- they call contract, as soon as possible. I'm not sure of others, but, I'll not hate you even if you don't. 

Dear Captain, I just wish you do it, we might get a CF a little poor or as good, but, never in my lifetime I'll see a better captain and a top player like you at Arsenal.

With loads of love,


P.S.: I know Piers is funny. But, we all hate him as much as we hate spurs. I promise to tweet you best jokes. Please don't consider him a Gooner.

Twitter : @asimgunner