Disclaimer: All the characters in the following post are real, any resemblance with People or Clubs, Harry or Sp*urs, living or might die, is purely intentional. The characters here are assumed immortal for simplicity.
English Premier League is without a doubt the best thing that has happened to sporting world, after Zidane. What makes it even more special is the quality of fan following it gets across the globe. With the humor associated with it unparallel and above all sporting events.
Trending a premier league joke worldwide takes less time than Tim Krul realizes that he has to take a goal kick.
Utmost care has been taken to keep the work original, but, you will find many jokes inspired from various top trends on twitter.
Exact timeline of the following events is not established, lets just say its some time 15-20 years from now.
North London:
Arsene Wenger reassured his faith in his clubs long standing youth policy and looks to further improvise his belief by signing players only below age of 8.
While, the gunners legend Theirry Henry has scored his 400th Premier League goal for Arsenal in his 14th debut at the club. The goal was created by Cesc Fabregas, who returned to his teenage club from his boyhood/divehood club as a free transfer. Making him the 49th player to make a second coming at the Emirates Stadium.
The recent transfer window saw Arsenal sending a record 51 players on loan and selling 25 kids, boosting the clubs pre-tax budget to 173,479,886 million pounds.
Meanwhile at Manchester:
Sir Alex Ferguson completed his 9,999th game as the in-charge of the club, WRIGLEYS sponsored the event as incidentally he spat his 610,000,000th chewing gum.
Howard Webb won his 600th MoTM award for the club, awarding it 1000th penalty, which completed Nani's 1200 dives.
Ryan Giggs has finally retired from football in search of the only family member he hasn't slept with. Which could take his incest record to marginally less than his appearances for the club. If you are the one call him on 004-123-61-61 or mail at thereally_sickone@manU.com
While the other Manchester Club, has completed a record signing of 250 million pounds to yet another over-rated arrogant prick. Extending the oil-rich clubs spending to 75000 billion pounds without a trophy.
Back at London
Chelsea have finally silenced their critics on "shite club, no history", with the following history, yet remaining a shit club.
- A unique record of firing 4 managers in a season, bringing the managers fired tally to 35 since the last trophy.
- While the clubs longest standing senior manager has urged more signings. He's apparently stuck on 97 and the club needs 3 new players for him to make a century of team-mates wives.
Elsewhere, in north London, Spurs fans in an attempt to prove north London is not RED, are taking a crap on the streets of London to prove NORTH LONDON IS THEIRS. With banners of COYS-Crap on you Spurs.
At Mersyside
Scientist are working on a mortality drug to keep aged people alive so that a few of the Liverpool fans could claim, "I was there when Liverpool last qualified for Champions League".
Liverpool legend Kenny Dalglish is asked FA to ban Arsene Wenger for calling Suarez a diver, United for winning cups and Messi for scoring Goals. But he says Suarez racially abusing Evra is justified.
Entrepreneurs in Football:
Last ten years has seen a good number of football entrepreneurs, most famous include:
- Gareth Bale academy of diving. With reputed trainers like Christiano Ronaldo, Sergio Busquets, Didier Drogba, etc.
- Wayne Rooney Hair gain formula and "massage" center.
- Nasri, Adebayor and A. Cole become rich in 30 days.
- Bendtner's best selling novel, "how not to pay for your pizza".
Follow: @asimgunner
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